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Canadians are always described as “polite”, “friendly” and “peaceful”. These are all true for the most part but there are a few words to describe Canucks that would shock the world. “Naughty”, “saucy”, “cheeky” and “just plain dirty”!
This is especially true in our homegrown adult film industry. In case you didn’t already know, we do have a Canadian Porn industry. Here’s a list of some of this year’s finest titles. Enjoy - you erotic little beavers.
- Exploring Her Northwest Territories
- Hot Prairie Lovin’
- Debbie Does Dartmouth
- Oh Regina!
- Hockey Night In Candy
- The Bitchcombers
- Girls Of The Arctic Circle
- Reaching For Stanley’s Cup
- Mrs. Dressup
- Anne Of Green Gobbles
Me Jane Films is currently producing a special one hour documentary for CBC called The Two-Four Anniversary of “Strange Brew”.
That’s right, Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas will be reuniting as Bob & Doug McKenzie for what may be their last show from the Great White North… and they want to hear from you!
They are looking for the best, most entertaining home video footage, photographs, collections of memorabilia, and Hoser stories.
Do you have an entire room in your house dedicated to Bob & Doug? Do you or someone you know consider toques and parkas as wardrobe essentials? Have you ever tried to stuff a mouse inside a beer bottle… and videotaped it? Are your children named Bob & Doug… and they are both daughters?
You get the picture. They want to see how those original Hosers – and their comedy classic, “Strange Brew”–have impacted your lives.
E-mail them at info@mejanefilms.com and let them know if there’s anything you’d like them to consider using in the show.
Be sure to include your phone number because when they receive your submission they may need to contact you for more information.
Depending on the nature of your submission, they may request that an item be sent to them, such as a DVD or photo – or even better, you may be asked to participate in an on-camera interview! Payment may be available for some types of footage.
So put down that bottle of beer and jelly doughnut because here’s your chance to show the rest of Canada (maybe even the world, eh!) just how much these two unforgettable Canadian Hosers mean to you.
Looking forward to hearing from you, eh!
This month we take a look at two Canadian Icons - Bob & Doug McKenzie.
Bob & Doug McKenzie first appeared on the classic Canadian television show SCTV in the late 1970s. The characters were created by Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis. The original intent of the skit was to protest government regulations for identifiable Canadian content in domestically produced media programming. Airing first on SCTV as the program “The Great White North”, Bob & Doug became almost instant national heroes. Despite the fact that the two dim witted brothers combined as many negative Canadian stereotypes as possible. The brothers embodied the stereotypical Canadian. Their dialogue was spiced with things like, “Eh?”, “Hoser”, and “Take off!” They guzzled beer, loved donuts and of course ate pounds of back bacon. They became so popular that “The Great White North” remained in the program when the skits were aired in the U.S. version. Thomas and Moranis were eventually made members of the Order of Canada for their contribution to Canadian culture. The New York Times called them the “Cheech and Chong of beer drinkers”, and they’ve been likened to Laurel and Hardy by the Bergen Record. Read more »
What’s the one thing you keep asking yourself “What do I need more of?” I bet you just said Dating Advice! Seriously, you really need more of it!
Enter Bacon Magazine’s very own “Bachelor of the Stars.” (Editors Note: We don’t even know what he means by that). Send your questions in, and Brock will amaze you with his mastery of the dating scene. There’s always two sides to a story, so to keep things in perspective, we’ll invite along a guest adviser of the female persuasion. Today’s guest is a long time friend of Bacon Magazine and self proclaimed dating expert, Barbara Jones.
1. What’s the first thing a woman will notice on a guy?
Barbara: Unfortunately, first impressions do matter. To get a woman’s attention it may be the style of clothing of the man or the way the man looks physically (good looking, good body).
Brock: A woman will always notice a guys crotch first. They can’t help it! They’re always thinking about their next deep-dickin. So boys, if you’re not packing, make sure you’re stuffing!
Haiku is a form of poetry that developed in Japan about 400 years ago.
It was created when trying to translate Japanese to English, and the result is what we call Engrish. The word Haiku was later adapted due to the offensive nature of the word Engrish. Oh why is everyone so sensitive?
A Haiku is a short verse of 17 syllables, divided into units of five, seven, and five syllables. Since the versus are so short, you really have to get to the point quickly. Say what you want to say. Sometimes, even that isn’t clear enough.
As a rule, a Haiku is supposed to contain a word describing a season. Why? We don’t know. Are we gonna follow that rule? Hell no!
Here are some samples of our own Haiku’s:
It’s not Mr. Crunch
Don’t go pulling rank on him
Cause he’s a Captain
It’s nice out today
The wind blowing in my hair
I think I farted
Hey Little Piggy
Your rump looks oh so tasty
Give me the pork bitch
Send us your Haiku’s!
Let’s explore today the oft misunderstood heavy metal ballad, specifically from the hair metal genre. To completely grasp why the need for such a thing we must backtrack to the beginning of the metal bands and explore their reason to be. Ultimately guys make music for one reason, no not to pursue a disposition to honing their craft and carve their name into the annals of rock history, but rather to meet girls and hopefully get lucky. No one understands this better than Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. Through all their excess and abuse he said they finally realized they had a real problem when it occurred to him the roadies were getting more than they were, because he and Joe Perry had lost focus and were more about the drugs, and that was defeating the whole purpose.
Various news agencies have reported that Tobogganing accidents have killed at least seven people in Canada since 2003. All were children, except for one 18-year-old. On Sunday, an eight-year-old girl died when her toboggan hit a tree north of Montreal, and a 12-year-old boy from Manitoba was killed after hitting his head on a patch of ice while tobogganing with his older brother.
I could be a Neanderthal and talk about how kids have been tobogganing for hundreds and hundreds of years without the need of a helmet but that would be very shortsighted of me (even though I do feel this way - hell, I came from a time where we didn’t wear helmets for bicycling or hockey - nobody new any better). However I realize that safety of the children should be the prime motivation OF THE PARENTS in all activities they take part in.
While being tragic accidents, do we really require a governmental body to step in to enact legislation? Are we not being legislated enough in our daily lives for things that could easily be taken care of by some general common sense?
The use of helmets (and enforcement thereof) should be the responsibility of the parents of the kids. How hard could it be - “If you don’t wear your helmet you can’t go tobogganing!” - case closed! Does this type of enforcement need a new law to be implemented and policed by the state? I don’t think so.
Of course, there are a number of you who will bring up the Bicycle Helmet law as being good. Well let me just say that this was a fucking stupid idea as well. Again, parents should have been on the ball and got their kids to wear the helmets.
To all you Parents out there who feel that a helmet would be a good thing don’t be AFRAID OF YOUR KIDS!!!! Get some BALLS and make them wear the fucking things. Go to the toboggan hill and watch them to make sure they wear the noggin protectors. Not only will it show the kids you mean business but it will make them feel good that you are showing an interest in what they do.
Hell, get on the sled with them and take a trip down the hill (don’t forget your helmet though)!
- Scalpers at Maple Leafs games act like you’ve ripped them off after they rip you off.
- There are lots and lots and lots of openly gay people here. Maybe it’s a big city thing, but in this town, there is no closet.
- People will ride two buses and a train to get to a bottom-rung service industry job so they can tell themselves they work in the city.
- Men in Toronto wear berets and expect that no one will make fun of them in the same way that men in the West think they can get away with cowboy hats. They are both wrong.
- Toronto people easily confuse “expect good service” with “act like a total asshole to people all the time.”
- Confusing and contradictory parking signs are to be expected. Assign approximately ten percent of your monthly income to pay for parking tickets until you learn to just not drive anywhere.
- You get a warm feeling walking past the old, ugly yellow brick warehouse that is Maple Leaf Gardens. Who cares if a relevant sporting event hasn’t taken place there in years? Just walking past the place nurtures my inner jock.
- If you trip, a Starbucks will probably break your fall. If not that, then a Tim Horton’s.
- People asking for change are more plentiful than pop-ups at porn sites.
- The key to survival is getting bored of the strip joints before you blow your rent money on eight dollar beers.
If Microsoft would just get it right and natively support Divx, we wouldn’t need this tutorial and everything would be wonderful. That not being the case, I figured I would put this together because it took me a hell of a long time searching for this correct information. Now we have it step by step.
What you’ll Need:
Plus any other Codec you may need to view your Divx file with (ie: AC3). Once everything is installed, start the Media 9 Encoder and start a New Session.
- On the Input tab click the File radio button and choose your file. Give it a moment cause it needs to examine the file and it may look like it has frozen. Don’t worry, everything will be fine shortly.
- On the Output tab, select where and what to call your new file.
- Now select the Compression tab and click Edit.
- Under the Media Types section, select Quality VBR for both Audio and Video Modes.
- Click on the newly created Quality-based tab.
- For Video Size check the Same as video input box.
- Change the Video quality to 100.
- Click Ok to go back to the Compression tab and click Apply to set your options to the video. Again, this will take a few moments to process, so have a little patience.
- Once applied, click on Start Encoding and watch ‘er go!
This will now create an Xbox 360 compatible WMV at the best possible quality. The file will be significantly larger, but it will work. Burn it to a DVD or stream away with Media Player 11. If you don’t need the best quality, play around with the options to suit your own needs.
Warning: This method took me 4 hours to convert a 2 hour movie on a Pentium 4 3.4 with HT. The same method was less than 2 hours on a Duo Core Pentium 3.4.
Justice Marion Cohen who oversees administration for the Ontario Court of Justice at 311 Jarvis St., ordered a small artificial Christmas tree, decked out in lights and ornaments, moved to an administrative corridor on Monday. In a letter to staff, she said it is a Christian symbol that might alienate people of other creeds and cultures.