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Humour
January 24th, 2007 by Nolan Whyte
- Scalpers at Maple Leafs games act like you’ve ripped them off after they rip you off.
- There are lots and lots and lots of openly gay people here. Maybe it’s a big city thing, but in this town, there is no closet.
- People will ride two buses and a train to get to a bottom-rung service industry job so they can tell themselves they work in the city.
- Men in Toronto wear berets and expect that no one will make fun of them in the same way that men in the West think they can get away with cowboy hats. They are both wrong.
- Toronto people easily confuse “expect good service” with “act like a total asshole to people all the time.”
- Confusing and contradictory parking signs are to be expected. Assign approximately ten percent of your monthly income to pay for parking tickets until you learn to just not drive anywhere.
- You get a warm feeling walking past the old, ugly yellow brick warehouse that is Maple Leaf Gardens. Who cares if a relevant sporting event hasn’t taken place there in years? Just walking past the place nurtures my inner jock.
- If you trip, a Starbucks will probably break your fall. If not that, then a Tim Horton’s.
- People asking for change are more plentiful than pop-ups at porn sites.
- The key to survival is getting bored of the strip joints before you blow your rent money on eight dollar beers.
October 16th, 2006 by Steven Scott
