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Do you remember sitting in Canadian history class in high school? Did you excitedly read through the Canadian Constitution word by word? No, me neither. If you do ever decide to pour over the big document though, you may be surprised at some of what you read. Here to sum up the surprises of the grand document, Bacon gives you…
The Most Surprising Words That Appear In The Canadian Constitution
- Pancakes
- S.U.V.
- Monkeys
- Lager
- Martians
- High-Sticking
- Regina (12 times)
- Stripper
- Robots
- Gravy
Episode 1: A trip to the 7/11
They call me Super Detective. I point out the obvious, perhaps the less obvious to some. This isn’t for money, and it isn’t for fame. I’m working pro-bono for the good of mankind. The rest will work itself out in time.
There’s a case at hand.
It’s been several months now since a variety of ‘pep’ drinks have been coming to surface in the community. Rockstar, Redbull, Jolt Cola, it’s all the same. Drinks designed to give you a high. A kick in the ass generally associated with a large double double and some Quaaludes.
Bacon is pleased to present some useless Canadian trivia.
Because we’ve got a lot of time on our hands, and because we’ve got dirty minds, here is a list of the top 25 Canadian cities that sound really dirty.
1. Fir Mountain, SK
2. Flesherton, ON
3. Sussex, NB
4. Lac La Biche, AB
5. Frenchman Butte, SK
6. Salmon Valley, BC
7. Black Tickle, NF
8. Mount Pearl, NF
9. Chester, NS
10. Ashburn, ON
11. Ecum Secum, NS
12. Assiniboia, SK
13. Lachute, PQ
14. Big Beaver, SK
15. Regina, SK
16. Haines Junction, YK
17. Cochrane, AB
18. Port Hardy, BC
19. Sackville, NB
20. Dildo, NF
21. Little Bullhead, MN
22. Picture Butte, AB
23. Mission, BC
24. Happy Valley-Goose Bay, NF
25. Chilliwack, BC
Judging by the list, there must be something funny going on in Saskatchewan. We’ll have to look into that…
It is our pleasure to present to you ‘Roy’
Once again Bacon Magazine brings you The Web Stud of the Month. This time - a man named Roy. Roy is an enormous man, and a very imposing figure. Roy enjoys smashing the finer things in life - things such as music and food. It would be extremely foolish and hazardous to mess with this man.
Possibly the oldest team sport, Polo was first played on barren campgrounds by nomadic warriors over two thousand years ago. The game was played from Constantinople to Japan by the Middle Ages. Known in the East as the Game of Kings. All of which is irrelevant to Bacon Magazine staffer Phallic Guy.
“In my opinion, Polo is the sport of kings, because kings are notoriuosly randy. Any sport in which you spend the entire day playing with your stick and balls is obviously hinting at something. Is it just me?”
“Don’t get me wrong I like nothing better than spending the day riding… and it’s even better with a team. However, my former girlfreind told me the other day that she was now playing for the other team… I’m a little confused.” Read more »
As you come to the page, you may say “What’s going on??? Where’s the Bacon I’ve known to come and love.” Then I’ll say you’re crazy cause that shit was shit!
So here is the dawn of a new Bacon era, with a much needed look and feel update to fit right into modern times. I’m sure a few little tweaks here and there will still be needed, so bare with us as we finish up the site.
You’ll notice our new “Widescreen” format site that stretches out rather nicely on larger monitors, but still accommodates the smaller resolutions. (To a point). We’ve gotten this inspiration from some of our favourite sites, such as Lifehacker or Gizmodo.
So we have a new format? well, this also means new content! That’s right! More and more of that Bacon goodness will be coming your way, plus we’re seeking writers! If you want to be published, just send a message to contacts@frymybacon.com and we’ll get you started with a Bacon Magazine writers kit.
Until then, cheers!
Many large unidentified sea creatures have been sighted in lakes, rivers and oceans throughout the world. Certain fresh water bodies have also gained a reputation for containing sizable creatures often described as prehistoric dinosaurs, or dragons.
The Loch Ness Monster is perhaps the most famous case of this in the world. However, Canada has it’s own Lake Monster, The Ogopogo. The first sighting of the Ogopogo predates The Loch Ness Monster and is virtually the first such sighting of a creature of this type anywhere in the world.
People often wonder, what if my parents had named me something different? What if I were a Gary, or a Stu? What if I were a Sheila? Would my life be different? Would I be living in Vegas with two kids and a bad back? Who knows.
Then there are others, who don’t like their given names. They say, “Why oh why did they name me Horatio?” (Sorry to all the Horatio’s). Some people go by a middle name or a nick name. “Hi, I’m Bud”. Others go by initials. I’ve always liked a B.J.
The game of billiards has a long-standing tradition. It’s been played in bars, lounges and basements since the time of Shakespeare and may even have been played by the ancient civilizations of Rome and Egypt. It is reportedly a game played by the monarchy all over Europe. It is a game of skill, finesse and intelligence. All of which is irrelevant to Bacon Magazine staffer Phallic Guy.”I find the game of billiards very erotic. I’m amazed by how much a pool table is reminiscent of a bed. In fact, I’ve used one as a bed…”